Frat hazing gay

This personal narrative recounts the author's experiences as the first openly gay member of a fraternity, exploring themes of belonging, acceptance, and the dark side of hazing.

On a cold, stormy September night in 2018, my 14 fraternity pledge brothers and I received this ambiguous text from one of our pledge masters: “Tonight’s education meeting is canceled.

This moment, shrouded in uncertainty, mirrored the complex feelings I’d been wrestling with since joining the fraternity three weeks earlier. He was always around. I told my brothers about the sexual abuse I had endured at the hands of a trusted family friend.

“I thought he had all the answers. That’s all I can ask for,” he wrote.

The definition of hazing

Let’s be clear: What Aiello describes is hazing.

“Maybe it’s a house party,” another suggested.

“It’s definitely not a house party,” the one in the passenger seat countered. “Fall in line, boys,” boomed one of the pledge masters. When I signed up to rush, I was seeking the real college experience, complete with large backyard parties and drunken antics with friends.

Bring a first aid kit, five jugs of water, three shovels, and a triangular-shaped candle. That’s all I can ask for,” I told them.

This was what I had always hoped for: a community where I could be supported and be myself. The Leader, the nickname for our main pledge master, was waiting for us at the entrance gate.

He told us the pit we’d dug would act as a sacred space to reveal our secrets.

“This is a safe space — an open space for you all to share things about yourselves so that you can become closer as brothers,” he said.

I was so cold my jaw rattled, but I didn’t care. This moment, shrouded in uncertainty, mirrored the complex feelings I’d been wrestling with since joining the fraternity three weeks earlier.