Gay hazing

Dress in all black.”

My mind raced with questions. “We’re getting hazed tonight, boys!”

A knot of anxiety tightened in my stomach. Visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.

Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost?

We cleaned rooms in the house together, ate all of our meals together, and studied for hours together. “Follow it to the beach,” he told us. “This brotherhood makes me realize what life’s all about — having a group of friends who love me. What if alcohol or drugs had been involved, as they often are in hazing incidents?
What if someone in the circle that night felt coerced into telling a secret he was not ready to share?
What if fraternity members had used the shared secrets to harass, humiliate, or expose their pledges publicly?
We must stop normalizing hazing as a rite of passage and instead develop and share healthier team-building practices like these ones developed by StopHazing.
The real story of hazing at USC fraternities
As it turns out, there is much more to this story of hazing at USC.
In 2018—the same fall that Aiello was experiencing “Beach Night”—his fraternity, Tau Kappa Epsilon (or TKE), was on social suspension because of previous hazing cases.

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We must stop normalizing hazing

Recent Huffington Post article glorifies hazing as a bonding experience. What could this mean?

An hour later, my palms choked the steering wheel of my Ford pickup truck as I drove from our fraternity house at the University of Southern California toward an unnamed address in Manhattan Beach.

Our voices united in a chant that declared our solidarity: “PLEDGE CLASS OF ONE!”

As our toes made contact with the water, an eerie silence enveloped us. “You told me you were looking for a community — a place to belong,” he said. The Leader, the nickname for our main pledge master, was waiting for us at the entrance gate.

First he congratulated us on passing “Beach Night,” which he called a “test.” Then he spoke about our newly formed lifelong bond and the chance to open up to our new family. A brief moment of uncertainty hung in the air — and then, as if ignited by an invisible force, we sprang into motion. My desire to join a fraternity was also driven by a longing I had always felt to be included in the “boys’ club.” During adolescence, I was never part of an all-male friend group.

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By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Countless others are injured or traumatized by hazing.

Aiello’s experience could easily have ended in tragedy.

You’re one of the coolest guys I’ve met, Tanner.

If someone’s health or safety is in danger, call 911 immediately. Any illegal activity associated with hazing, such as underage drinking or drug use, should also be reported to the appropriate authorities.

For non-emergencies, you can also get help outside the university by calling the National Anti-Hazing Hotline at 1-888-NOT-HAZE (888-668-4293).

I was captivated by what was taking place around me.

One by one my brothers began to open up about shattered athletic careers, battles with drug addiction, eating disorders and anxiety. The hotline accepts calls 24 hours a day and allows callers to make an anonymous report, which will be forwarded to the headquarters of the fraternity or sorority involved.

On a cold, stormy September night in 2018, my 14 fraternity pledge brothers and I received this ambiguous text from one of our pledge masters:

“Tonight’s education meeting is canceled.

“We’re getting hazed tonight, boys!” A knot of anxiety tightened in my stomach.