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You may also consider putting a condom on dildos and other penetrative toys before use — this can make it easier to clean, as well as offer a different sensation.

  • Get tested regularly. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

    Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Or at least, not in the sense of getting-married-having-babies-with-side-by-side-burial-plots type of Ones.

    But he’s gay and I’m a woman—what do you even call that?

    Over the last year I’ve pondered over how Oliver can be gay and still be attracted to me. An exception.

    I found this compelling, and it made me think about sexuality in a fresh way. For the time being, I feel lucky to have a really, really good friend.

    • .

    Talking about it becomes harder when I don’t know how to label what we have.

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    How Do Lesbians Have Sex? 28 Things to Know Before Your First Time

    Often, people assume that lesbians can’t get pregnant, or that lesbian sex can’t result in pregnancy. Whatever we have will end either when one of us starts to hate the sound of the other one eating, or when Oliver meets a man he wants to monogamize.

    This fills me with an odd sense of calm.

    I am polyamorous with whomever I date. It’s especially important for anal sex because, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t make its own lubricant.

  • Keep all toys clean. Sex toys can transfer infections from one person to another, so clean sex toys thoroughly in between use. In today’s show, we’re exploring a reality that doesn’t fit the script—gay men who are out and confident in their identity, but who sometimes sleep with women.

    I am joined once again by Dr.

    Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. His explanation also makes me feel extra-very special, so obviously I’m on board. But last year, after a very drunken night, we slept together—and we still are today. Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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    Dr.

    Oliver, however, loves to see other people. Presumably the second “really” comes from having seen each other’s genitals. Even though sexual fluidity is now more accepted, I feel like I only hear it talked about in terms of straight people becoming bisexual or gay.

    gay sex with women

    So I’m nervous to inadvertently fan the flames of scary anti-queer rhetoric.

    If one partner is transgender and has a penis and the other is cisgender and has a vagina, they can have penis-in-vagina sex.